Test Anxiety

forget school, medical exams are the worst...

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Since the elbow surgery, some symptoms were nipped in the bud, while others bloomed. The cold became enemy number #1. I have always been one to LOVE sweater weather. But, after getting my elbow bone shaved down and beginning signs of arthritis in my wrist, bones in my right arm ached, stabbed, and tingled. Not to mention, the vivid purple outlining my scars and veins, paired with the shivering twitches of my actual ulnar nerve. This meant undergoing a test that I would never wish on anyone.

To be fair, this wasn't the only medical exam that I had to go through that I hated. If you all remember the terrible MRI experience with the needle in my joint gap in my severely injured wrist? Well, I was lucky for that one... I went into the appointment for my MRI completely blind to the process. The Dr. never told me what they would have to do in order to fully inspect the TFCC tendon and cartilage damaged. Unfortunately, that was not the case this time around. I spent hours researching what I was being forced to undergo before the EMG and to be honest, I think it only made my anxiety about getting the test done even worse. I don't know what I prefer... either way going through a painful test while you are maxed out on pain already, it's torture to have to wait before the exam and then for the results. Nobody wants to be told that they continue to fail test after test simply because they stray from the norm... not being in pain.

pictured: Part 1: Nerve Conduction Study

It was now July 16, 2018, which just so happens to be my birthday. The semester had ended and I needed every minute of the break. The push to get through finals left my hand weak and my pain on a whole other level. It also left me absolutely frustrated with doing the most to get simple tasks done. So, I called my surgeon and told him about my worsening nerve pain and atrophy symptoms. He strongly suggested getting an EMG done to check on the overall health of the nerves in my hands and arms. If you have never heard of an EMG, be glad. There are generally two parts to this torture. The nerve conduction study is first. It involves placing small sensors called surface electrodes on the skin to assess the ability of the motor neurons to send electrical signals. The second part, known as the needle EMG, also uses sensors to evaluate electrical signals. The sensors are called needle electrodes, and they’re directly inserted into muscle tissue to evaluate muscle

pictured: Part 2: Needle EMG

activity when at rest and when contracted. (thank you Healthline for helping me with this beautiful explanation) I remember not being able to get through either of the exams without my dad and the Dr. holding my arm down still enough. I had read online that part one of the exam wasn't bad, that the sensation would merely feel like an intense tap and tingle. That wasn't the case for me. The electrical jolts made my entire body tremor. The second part was only worse. I have never loved needles but, the insertion of those needles wasn't what hurt the most, it was the electrical shock stabbing me through the needles. It felt as though my whole nerve was on fire, and to make things worse, this had to be done in every area of pain (nerve sensation loss). To make it worse, the Dr. had to apply varying amounts of pressure in order to compare different immensities of the jolt. Oh and duh do the same thing to the other, healthier arm to compare...

After it was all over, I was brought to a seated position, and BOOM, I passed out. When I came to I remember the smell of orange juice and the feeling of sweat dripping from my forehead. It was time to review the results. As I sipped on the oj and slowly gained my color back.. the Dr. said the worst thing she could have said, "you need to stop playing softball, your nerve is too damaged". I glanced over at my dad whose jaw had dropped ever so slightly and hung my head, the tears started flowing. It was the first time I heard a Dr. advise me to stop playing softball. She prescribed me a topical cream to use daily to numb out the nerve in the area applied and more gabapentin... Happy 19th Birthday Jaz